Scientists have discovered a toadstool that protects against colds. Eat it, it’s free!
- Is it compulsory to eat it?
- No, of course, we don’t oblige anyone, only those who wish to.
- Okay then, I don’t want to.
- Eat the mushroom!
- We’re giving you a free salad with it and a holiday voucher.
- I’ll pass.
- All intelligent people eat the toadstool for colds, only those with low IQs refuse. You have to believe in science!
- And who will be responsible if the toadstool harms me?
- You, of course, we are not responsible.
- I definitely don’t want a toadstool.
- You have to want it because if you refuse, those who have already eaten their toadstools get sick.
- Maybe if they hadn’t eaten the toadstools they wouldn’t be sick!?
- Such an anti-mushroom!
- I’m not an anti mushroom man, I’ve eaten mushrooms before, but this is toadstool! I don’t want to risk it. At least tell me what it contains!
- Yikes, the exact description is a trade secret and you’ll be able to see it in 175 years.
- But sir, I won’t be alive after all these years.
- That’s not our problem anymore. It’s the law. But studies show it’s perfectly safe and 90% prevents the common cold.
- But my neighbor died while jogging in the stadium, shortly after his second bout.
- He was eating fresh homegrown vegetables, that’s why. Toadstools are perfectly safe!
- But he’s not the only one, others have suffered from the toadstools.
- This is fake news, stop spreading it and eat your toadstool!
- Well, how would they be fake, before people left the stadium alive…
I won’t eat any toadstool.
- If you don’t eat your toadstools, both of them, we’ll declare you a dangerous public enemy and we won’t let you go to malls, movie theaters, and restaurants.
- Do I have to eat two already?
- No. It’s already 3 and that way you’re 80% likely to prevent yourself from catching a cold.
- Weren’t they 90%?
- You ask too many questions and you are an enemy of the people, and of public health, and of freedom..
*All similarities with the reality aren’t coincidence.
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